In a move no one expected, Donald Trump’s impromptu visit to a Pennsylvania McDonald’s sent shockwaves through Wall Street, sending McDonald’s stock up an unprecedented 200%. The former president, who famously loves fast food, abandoned the campaign trail for the fryer, and the results left both the fast food giant and its investors doing victory laps around the fryer.
It all started innocently enough. Trump, during a stop in the Keystone State, decided to roll up his sleeves and don a McDonald’s apron at a franchise in Feasterville-Trevose, a town that will now go down in history as the place where Trump sparked a surge in the company’s value. He grabbed a handful of fries, flipped them, and seasoned them with the precision of a veteran fast-food chef as his supporters cheered wildly. Little did anyone know that this seemingly lighthearted publicity stunt would turn out to be the best marketing move McDonald’s has seen since the invention of the McNugget.
Trump, never shy of theatrics, took to his new role behind the counter with gusto, barking out orders like a fast-food general. “These fries? Perfect. Absolutely perfect,” Trump said, beaming as he handed a customer a fresh helping. “Nobody makes fries better than me, believe me.”
What began as a casual meeting quickly devolved into a media frenzy, with cameras capturing the former president expertly wielding French fry tongs and manning the drive-thru. Trump even handed out burgers through the window, telling customers, “This is all for me. Best deal you’ll ever get. Nobody gives away more Big Macs than Donald Trump.”
For those who watched the show, it was an odd but fitting scene for a man who has long extolled the virtues of fast food. Trump’s relationship with McDonald’s is practically legendary, with the former president once serving a fast-food buffet to a champion football team at the White House. But what happened next was more shocking than a leaked secret sauce recipe.
No one could have predicted that Trump’s brief tenure as a fry chef would do more for McDonald’s than years of carefully planned marketing campaigns. Within hours of his visit, McDonald’s stock skyrocketed 200%, surprising even seasoned investors. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” said one astonished Wall Street analyst. “This is the kind of rally that tech companies dream of, not fast-food chains. It’s like gold fries turned into gold stocks overnight.”
As news of McDonald’s stock boom spread, executives at the fast-food chain were quick to elaborate on the windfall. “We’ve had celebrity endorsements before, but nothing on this scale,” McDonald’s CEO said. “Frankly, we’re thinking about adding Trump to the menu. A Trump Tower Triple Patty, maybe? People want more Trump, and who are we to deny them that?”
Trump, of course, was quick to take credit for the company’s success. “I’ve always said I know business, and McDonald’s? Nobody knows McDonald’s like I do,” he told reporters. “The stock is up because of me. The fries are good because of me. Frankly, I might as well buy McDonald’s.”
While Trump was busy boosting McDonald’s profits, there was one person noticeably absent from the celebration: Vice President Kamala Harris. The Democratic nominee has often mentioned her time at McDonald’s, claiming she worked at the fast food chain during her college years. Trump, however, was less than kind to Harris’s claim.
“You know Kamala says she worked at McDonald’s, right?” Trump asked the crowd during his frying session. “Well, folks, I don’t believe that. She doesn’t know how to use a fryer like this. I bet she didn’t even know how to use the ice cream machine, which, let’s be honest, never works.”
As expected, Trump’s barbs didn’t sit well with Harris’s supporters, and the rivalry over who can handle fast food better became the latest twist in an already bizarre election season. Harris has remained silent on the issue, though a leaked statement from her team reportedly described Trump’s visit to the fast food joint as a “desperate crew of someone who can’t handle the heat, even in a McDonald’s kitchen.”
In response to the stock surge, McDonald’s executives are now rethinking their entire marketing strategy. “This is bigger than a Monopoly game,” said one marketing executive. “We’re thinking about renaming the Happy Meal the Trump Meal, complete with MAGA-themed toys. Kids are going to love it.”
But that’s not all. Rumors have already begun to circulate that McDonald’s may be in talks with Trump to make him its permanent spokesperson. “Can you imagine the commercials?” asked one excited franchise owner. “Trump at the drive-thru, saying, ‘I built this McDonald’s, believe me. No one does it better than me.’ It’s genius.”
Meanwhile, other fast-food chains are rushing to catch up. Burger King is said to be in talks with conservative figures to promote its brand, while Wendy’s is rumored to be considering a campaign involving its iconic red-headed mascot wearing a MAGA hat.
Not everyone is loving Trump’s McDonald’s takeover, though. Some critics were quick to point out the absurdity of a visit to the fast food restaurant impacting the stock market. “This is exactly what’s wrong with America,” one critic tweeted. “A guy flips a couple of fries and suddenly the stock goes up 200%. What’s next? Trump selling milkshakes for the Treasury?”
Political commentators also weighed in, with some accusing Trump of using McDonald’s as a political tool. “He’s turning fast food into a campaign tool,” said one political pundit. “McDonald’s should be about burgers and fries, not politics.”
Despite the backlash, McDonald’s remains committed to riding the Trump wave as long as it can. “We’ve never seen this kind of enthusiasm,” a company spokesperson said. “If people want to buy more fries because of Trump, then we’ll give them fries, lots of fries.
As Trump gears up for his next campaign stop, the question remains: Will he stop at more McDonald’s franchises, and could this French fry-slinging phenomenon lead to an even bigger boost for the fast-food chain? And what does this mean for Harris, who now faces a serious fast-food rival on the campaign trail?
One thing is for sure: If Trump has proven anything, it’s that he can turn even the most mundane activities, like making French fries, into gold. Or in this case, golden arches.
As Trump himself said after finishing his shift, “The only thing better than my potato chips are my rallies. And believe me, rallies are huge. Just like these potato chips.”